Monday, November 11, 2019

Monday Musings-AdSpeculations

Since I no longer subscribe to a paper-and-ink newspaper I have little chance to peruse the ads as described below. Classified ads do still exist, in print and on line in the newspaper cyber editions. Maybe I'll start to look for them again as an alternative to the so-called news the mainstream media throws at us daily. That's another story I may tackle one day. Right now I'm trying to stay warm and listen to my golden oldies country songs as I type. I hope the fast-moving arctic front passing through our area is even faster moving than predicted. Very cold weather is not my favorite thing.
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    When someone temporarily runs out of reading material that appeals, a sure cure for boredom is to read the classified ads. The sheer variety of things people want to rid themselves of, preferably for money, is amazing.
    One ad lists juicers and balance balls, reasonably priced, according to the text. Apparently a resolution for exercise and healthier drinking gone by the wayside. Maybe the seller is getting a head start on breaking a New Year's resolution.
    Another person thought scuba-diving was their dream exercise. The offer is for two scuba regulator sets with pressure and depth gauges. Only used on six dives. Maybe the charm of deep immersion in cold water became less appealing after our recent exposure to yet another 'polar vortex.'
    Someone who aspires to a career in country music could find all they need to become the next 'rhinestone cowboy' in the classifieds. If they take the two racks of stage lights and pair of Justin boots off the hands of two other ad posters. In the same paper can be found a like-new banjo, a keyboard with stand and a piano. Many veteran members of the Grand Ol' Opry started with less.
    The early snow might also explain the hoped for sale of the outdoor chaise lounge and the outdoor loveseat with thick cushion. These items would have been very nice to lounge around on the patio while reading the inspirational romance books offered a little further down the page. Love may yet win because in the next column is a flowered-cover indoor loveseat. One could suppose that love stories can be just as inspirational when read indoors. I wonder, though, about the ad by someone wanting a fainting couch.
    A sadder story may lie behind the ad listing a high-quality diamond engagement ring, new, never used, for half its value.
    Don't like the often violent news? Happy, sad, poignant stories can also be found right in the newspaper.

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